Epictetus’ Wisdom on Insults: It’s Not What Others Say, But How We Respond | Gita Blog Sport
Gitablogsport.com - In today’s fast-paced digital world, a single comment can ignite outrage, and one post can spark division. The ability to remain calm and not take things personally has become a rare but essential skill.
We now live in a reactive society, where differing opinions are often perceived as personal attacks, and constructive criticism is mistaken for insult.
However, thousands of years ago, the ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus offered a profound insight on how to navigate a world filled with emotional reactions:
“It is not he who reviles or strikes you who insults you, but your opinion that these things are insulting.”
This quote reveals a powerful truth: real insult does not come from others, it comes from our own interpretation.
In this article, we explore how this ancient wisdom still applies today and how it can help us achieve emotional strength and inner peace.
Why Do We Feel Insulted?
In daily life, we often feel hurt by what others say.
Whether it’s a coworker’s remark, a social media jab, or gossip from neighbors, words can sting.
But when we pause and reflect, we realize that the true pain doesn’t come from the words themselves, but from the meaning we attach to them.
For example:
Someone calls you stupid. If you’re confident in yourself, the word means nothing.
But if you secretly doubt your abilities, that word cuts deep.
Epictetus reminds us that emotional pain doesn’t come from others’ actions, it comes from our own interpretation.
Stoic Philosophy: The Power of Self-Control
Stoicism divides life into two categories:
1. Things within our control (thoughts, perceptions, actions).
2. Things outside our control (others’ words, public opinion, external events).
The key to inner peace is focusing only on what we can control and not letting what’s beyond our control disturb our well-being.
When someone insults us, we only feel hurt if we choose to feel hurt.
Social Media and the Modern Mental Test
In the age of social media, toxic comments and hate speech are widespread.
Anyone can be targeted by strangers’ harsh words. Many suffer stress, anxiety, and even lose self-worth under the weight of negative comments.
Yet, when we adopt Epictetus’ mindset, we realize these words only hold power if we let them affect us.
If we don’t accept them as truth or threat, they lose their impact.
Why This Matters for Mental Health
This idea aligns with modern psychology, especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which teaches that it’s not the event itself that causes distress, but how we interpret it.
By creating space between the trigger (words) and our reaction (emotion), we gain control:
- We stay calm under criticism.
- We don’t need to retaliate.
- We don’t let others define our self-worth.
Practical Tips for Handling Insults :
1. Pause Before Reacting
Take a breath. Don’t rush to respond.
2. Re-evaluate the Meaning
Ask yourself: “Is this really hurtful, or am I choosing to feel offended?”
3. Widen Your Perspective
Remember: what someone says reflects them, not you.
4. Build Mental Resilience
Every time you don’t react to an insult, your inner strength grows.
5. Practice Empathy
People who insult may be dealing with their own pain. Don’t take it personally.
True Emotional Freedom
Epictetus’ core message isn’t to be emotionless, but to be mentally strong.
He teaches that dignity, calm, and self-worth don’t come from others, they come from within.
Once we understand that we control our own interpretations, we unlock true freedom: freedom from anger, fear, and emotional manipulation.
We Are the Gatekeepers of Meaning
Every day, we face words and actions that may offend us.
But Epictetus reminds us that insult only exists if we allow it to. We are the gatekeepers of meaning.
With this awareness, we can choose not to be hurt, not to react, and maintain inner peace no matter how chaotic the world becomes.